Waking …er, MUD’ing Up With The King

The current Burger King ad campaign, is really weird and uncomfortable at times; but then suddenly you realize the silent, big plastic headed king is your friend.

It’s vaguely familiar to an interview I heard 2nd hand on the radio about Trick Daddy going to an elementary school. “What if kids are scared of you?”

Trick Daddy replied, “Trick Daddy is your friend. Trick Daddy likes kids.” ooohhhhh kaaaayyy….

Anyway, all this talk of IM got me thinking; if the King was offering you a sandwhich over AIM, how would it work? Like, currently, the TV commercials start where you see some older dude (like 32, haha, 32 is old, haha! a young chap in the prime of his adult life) who’s just waking up in pajamas, and opens his blinds to look out his bedroom window. He is in shock to see a smiling plastic head King just staring at him. There is this 1 second uncomformatble momement where they both just stare at a eachother. Then, the King reaches behind his back, and whips out an awesome looking egg, cheese, and bacon sandwhich, and hands it to the man through the window. The man eats it, and looks happy, and smiles… obviously, the King is already smiling. He gets hit by a newspaper from the paper boy at the end.

In another commercial, the one where he’s in the same bed with the single guy, the single guy maniacally laughs at the end, burger in hand, while the king rolls on the floor getting licked in the “face” by the man’s dog.

Direct Video Link via Slate

You get this feeling… it’s like uncomfortable, but at the same time some sort of morbid fascination that you feel compelled to go sit with the King, and have him offer you a sandwhich… and you eat it while he watches, and you get happy. It’s like that Blackhole Sun music video done by Soundgarden where the people’s faces get exaggerated… it’s that kind of feeling.

I’m not the only one either, just type in “Waking up with the King” in Google, and 2 of the first 10 results have blog entries on the same thing.

Anyway, check it, my conversation with the King over AIM after waking up:

— You have a new message from "BKing". Do you wish to accept?
JesterXL: y
BKing: lol!
JesterXL: hey… who are you? No, I don’t know how to code a Flash preloader…
BKing: lol!
JesterXL: …
BKing: lol
JesterXL: uh… what the hell?
BKing: lol!
BKing: :: hands you a breakfast sandwhich ::
BKing: LOL
JesterXL: oooookaaayyy… thanks man!
JesterXL: :: eats ‘breakfast sandwhich’ ::
JesterXL: *munch* *munch* *chew*
JesterXL: Emm… yum! :: smiles :: hey dude, this is damn good!
BKing: lol
JesterXL: *munch* *chew* *chew*
BKing: lol
JesterXL: thanks man!
BKing: lol!

— 5 minutes later in a random MUD

DM666: BKing, the orc snarls angrily and
launches its heavy spear at you.
BKing: LOL!
JesterXL: wow… your brave BKing!
BKing: lol!
BKing: :: rolls a 20 on a 1d20 ::

DM666: WHOA! You score a critcal hit; the orc, injured and frightened by your bravado, heads for the hills.
JesterXL: good job, BKing, you showed that orc what’s up, bayyy-baaaah-baayyy-baaah!!!
BKing: lol!

Blockbuster Shady Marketing

The article is titled “Blockbuster dropping late fees as of Jan. 1“. If you read the article, though, all they’re doing is extending the due-date by 6 weeks, at which point, they charge you the same amount of money. If you do the math, what a typical customer ends up paying in late fee’s after 6 weeks accounts to the cost of the movie anyway. The $300 million dollar loss is probably because the restocking fee isn’t that high. Now, as a consumer I can no longer stem the blood loss by returning the tape early, and avoiding any further late fee’s. All I have to do is return it before my 6 days are up, and I can avoid paying the restocking fee.

I’ve had a chip on my shoulder against this company ever since they threatened me with legal action when I was 18. It feels good now to sink back into my anti-establishment teenage tirade, almost like I’m getting revenge at the company who was legitamtely upset at me for losing their copy of Tomb Raider for Playstation. This was coupled hearing a co-worker couldn’t get a mortage for his house until he resolved an outstanding late fee from Blockbuster on his credit.

Blockbuster is losing revenue to Netflix, and I guess they feel it is because people like me chose Netflix over them because the cost of movies the way Netflix does it is far cheaper then the known late fees I will be charged at Blockbuster. That’s not the only reason. Blockbuster had some shady practices because of their monopoly. Their late fee’s and prices grew and grew over the years, far suprassing the 3% economy, and their customer service was a joke; they were always rude in some way if I ever had a problem, or wanted to open a new membership at a new store. Their lack of store to store connectivity was astounding… until I read Zeh’s comment at MossyBlog, and it all made sense.

Not only is their company technically imcopetent (keep in mind they were the ONLY company I heard about haveing Y2K problems January 1st, 2000 on the news), but so is their staff. I want to go back in time and say to one rude encounter I had after waiting for 20 minutes to discuss a problem with my account back in ’97, “Your just mad your not coding HTML for 100k a year, bee-oootch!!!!”

It kind of sucks that their fixin’ to purchase Hollywood Video too. I went to them so I could publicly not support Blockbuster… but now they’re buying it too. Course, the late-fee’s are the same on my wallet…

I remember camping out at the MovieTime in Richmond, Virginia for hours at a time, waiting for whatever customer to return some new Nintendo game I wanted to try since the cashier would tell me it was due that day.

Screw that, I’ll just automate it, pay the difference, and end up saving money and heartache in the long run. Karma’s a bitch, Blockbuster.

Blockbuster Article

Via her majesty.

Subway Toasts Too Late

Quizno’s had a really cool ad a year ago. It was based off of the Moon Song video. Those of us in the know when we saw it, loved it. Here was a company embracing my demographic’s area of entertainment so much so that they were willing to look like freaks of nature by airing such a weird and out there commercial… which was an adaptation of something weird and out there.

Well, it appears 11 months later Subway has responded (I think). This may be old news to some, but keep in mind I live out in a remote area. I was asked if I wanted my sub “toasted”.

“…sure!” I replied with a slight start and an attenuation at the end of my response. I had never been asked that before, although I eat Subway at least once a week. Upon asking when they started doing it, they lady replied, “…about a month ago, nationwide. It’s in response to Quizno’s.”

‘In response’? It takes you 11 months to install toasters into Subway stores nationwide, and instruct the personnel how long to leave a sandwhich in it? Can I bungie jump using the red tape? It just goes to show how successful a good sandwhich can be with little marketing. They’d p@wn if their response time was faster, and they went on the offensive.

Subway’s site title starts with “Official” whereas Quizno’s starts with their name. Quizno’s has Flash on the front page too, whereas Subway does not.

Anyway, the sub was good toasted.