The Grudge

*** semi-spoliers via adjectives ***

Just saw The Grudge, the USA version of Japan’s Ju-Jo or whatever. Brandy saw about 5 minutes of the whole 90 minutes.

How come no one in horror flix today has any ballz? Seriously. If some kid meows and hisses at me, I’d bark right back. Cat vs. Dog… dog beats cat, I win sucka. I don’t know how it is in Japan, but we have a heirarchy here in the US. It’s called cat, dog, husband & wife. You twice removed, so I speak in your next in charge’s native tonuge to ensure you know I mean business.

Secondly, any pop-lockin’ corpse that has to crawl because it’s so beaten is just a prime target for an additional one. You start gargling towards me because you haven’t drunken any water in 3 years isn’t gonna garner any sympathy. In fact, I’d army, steel toe boot smash your head like a burning bag’s on my porch, regardless of contents.

There is a reason they don’t put people like me on TV on shows such as Fear Factor or the Real World. I’m not interesting, I merely do what real people would do. If there’s some jawless aberration coming towards me, I’d sock the rest of the head out of the park Babe Ruth style. If there is an evil house, you burn it and have a Rave with priests from every denomonation, replacing the Dasani with holy water.

…I still watch my back and hasten my footsteps when I turn out the lights. I blame that, though not on the dark, but rather because of the fact I’m not packin’.

Anyway, good flic if you like the rush like I do.