Cutting Loose Ends

Just got a note from my editor stating that they are dropping my chapter. They attributed it to page count, but I know it was from my continued emails stating lack of interest, laced with negative connotations. Of course, I received it in the middle of writing a follow up email saying that I could buckle down over the weekend to finish up the loose ends. Regardless, I promptly deleted my draft.

One down, two to go…

Or so it seems. The further retreatment I take from the industry, I still get the same amount of emails requesting I do something. Hopefully by October, I’ll be so far removed from all the Flash lists and forums that no one will even remember I exist. I can hibernate for the winter, and then bust some frikin caps in the Spring.

I still say “maybe” to all opportunities that arise, but unless it’s a walk in the park with a timeframe to match, shove it. I’m burnt, and there recently other areas in which it behooves me to spend my time. It may negatively affect others with my lack of help on the lists and forums, but in the long run it’s better for all.

“The name is Ash, and I am a slave…”

26 Replies to “Cutting Loose Ends”

  1. I think that I can understand. I just want to say that we already miss ya in some lists… the past 2 weeks…

  2. Ya know what?
    Take some time and and catch a Delta flight 105 to Brazil (departs dayly from ATL). I’ll meet you at the airport and share with you a big time here to recharge your battery (don’t tell Her Majesty though.. you know how brazilian cheeks ae good looking.. hehehe.. not to mention the coffee YO).
    Don’t know about the others, but for me you was the first point of contact and help at flashnewbie list, so I will never forget.
    The offer is made, do what you like my friend.

  3. Thanks for your help on the list while you were there. Its been great seeing you there, and I hate to see you leave. Just remember, you’ll always be remembered. I hope we see you again in the future. You were always a great help.


  4. Jesse – come back! well, I mean after you’ve relaxed a little. Flashnewbies misses your help and humor, but undestand we all get a little burned out sometimes.

  5. Thanks for all your help, Hope to see you around soon.

    I’m kidda doing the same, staying away from ML for a little bit, and concentrating in some projects i had left aside.

    Take care and relax

  6. Hey,

    If you follow J souza suggestion to come to Brasil drop me a note, I can’t host you couse I have no space, but at least I need to pay you a beer for all that I’ve learned from you in flashnewbie and flashcoders.


  7. Sorry guys but I offered my apartment first to Jesse :) . Jesse you can come with Her Majesty when you want. Paris it’s another great place, and the wine… the food… the party…
    Wohohohohohooooooo!! Yay!

  8. Hey dude,
    You’ve done a lot for us, now it’s time to do something for yourself. Take care my friend, and have a good rest.

  9. Thank you for all of your help on Flashnewbie list. I will always remember your generosity and the 2 Claritins you took up for me.
    It’s quite upset to see you missing from Flashnewbie liar but we understand. Take good rest and hope see you back again.

  10. JESTER! Dude, after all these years in this industry, I’ve got to say I’ve had more than a couple burn out periods. Yeah, the offers, I know I was one with a “project” even I passed on it in the end, cause it would have not been to my fit of what I’m willing to do anymore in this industry.

    Either it fits or it don’t. If you follow your truth, you’ll be more than alright dude… you’ll be the best $@#@#% Jester you can be as a result. Trust your instinct dude.

    Dis-illusionment. It’s part of the game called living more than a basic survivor in the world who sells their soul for a lousy buck.

    God Bless you for all that you have done to help others unconditionally. NOw you need to chill and begin to learn, as I do still, how to say “no” not at this point… or “that doesn’t fit with my business model or some crap like that! JESTER always needs to take care of JESTER otherwise there aint NEVER gonna be no Jester left to go around even if you WANTED to and the passion was there to give.

    Peace and light, yo!

  11. Same shit happened to me with Friends of ed. One chapter made it, but the other was supposedly too complex for Flashers… whatever.

  12. Thank you all for the kind comments. It really makes me feel good to know my efforts to help people really do make a difference. My only true goals in life are to help people and do something that matters.

    I don’t know about the latter, but the former definately seems to hold true after everyone’s thank you’s.

    I’ll probably feel better after this weekend, and resubscribe to all the lists and forums, I’ve just spent no time doing anything but Flash since April of last year, and need a break.

  13. DUDE, I’ve never met you YET, however I totally ID with your life in SO many ways, even tho we’re totally different. Here’s one of life’s dirty little secrets…. It is your passion, your REAL hearts desire (abouthelping others) that ALWAYS ensures that you do something that matters… The live’s you’ve already touched are beyond your true ability to see, because otherwise the ego would get in there and MESS you up (been there done that, I know)…

    Think, just a MOMENT if you will — just ONE newbie works for six days on something that aint workin… and becomes disheartened…. lost, frustrated… and carries that energy home to the kids…

    Then, as a last hope, they venture out and post a message you JUST HAPPEN to be around to catch… and you reply and maybe with a few helpful emails, or maybe right away, what, to that newbie was HOPELESS (been there, done that, I was one), BINGO they get it… and that POWER you were given by God and the universe and simply passed along in a kind gesture, moves into them, and they become ELATED, and carry THAT home to the kids… and the kids never know the why or where, but THEY get some of the empowered energy…

    And THAT, my friend, is how the real way of the universe works when people like you and I (in the areas where I am gifted, and all the others who do the same,) just show up and try to do our best, even in the midst of our own pains and issues..

    So BREATHE… and know that God is with you and YOU are a magnificent representation of the beauty of the world DUDE……

  14. You were a huge help to me and bailed me out of a very tight situation. I hope you can take some solace in knowing that a couple thousand miles away this very afternoon I was heaping praise on you over rolls of sushi named “Dragon” and “Godzilla”.


  15. If anyone deserves a break, it’s definitly you dude. Take it easy, enjoy the vacation, and get your much needed rest.

  16. Wow.. I know the feeling. I’ve never seen anybody in my whole life put so much into the community like you. You’re always quick on the ball, getting back to everybody as fast as you can. You’ve made a big impression I think, and I really doubt people will forget that effort. Take a bit of time off, you’ll be back I think. It’s in your blood :)

    Take it easy, and I’m sure I speak for all when I say hope to see you back soon.

  17. Yeah Bro, take it easy, get some rest, do something completely differant for awhile. Your help on the lists has been terrific and you must be going 90 mph to do all that you do. chill out, re-evaluate and have some fun! Thanks for your interest in helping others!

  18. Hi Jesse, first I just wanted to say things for all the advice you have given through flashnewbies and flash coders and secondly enjoy your break man, you definitely deserve it. I don’t know if you are into anime at all but if you are make sure that you go to AWA, that will definitely take your mind off of flash and recharge your batteries. If you go and see a six foot seven dreadhead that’s me, come up and introduce yourself so i can thank you in person for all the help that you have given out…once again, enjoy your hiatus.

  19. Quit bitchin and self-publish. If you’ve got something worth reading them I’m definitely buying.

    I’d rather put my money in your pocket instead of some editor hack who doesn’t know the technology or the culture.


  20. ….just when you revived me from my burn out, old age, disillusion, and prompted me to jump back into design… :-(

    So, I guess you know I understand these types of things. I think a break is good. You’ll be just fine. And, who knows where that break will take you? Maybe it will take you to even better things and better paths. Wish I could give you back the zap you gave me. I guess you over-shared your energy. :) Makes me feel a little guilty.

    All I can say is take the time you need to recharge and then go back stronger than ever. The good thing is that you know your limits & when you need to recharge.

    All the best from your Coworker/Advice Columnist,


  21. thanks for all your help on newbee list, take care and never look back, I can understand you, I might follow soon , maybe we meet someday on the beach with sangria in hand and some girls cooling us with palm leafs? ;-)

    Take care mate, wish you all best
    Senad /f-newbee

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